Single parenting is way harder than those two words sound wether they are together or separate.
Being single is not hard but sometimes lonely. Being a parent is just INSANE.
Becoming a mother was something that I chose knowing I was most likely going into this alone. I never for even a second thought that this would be easy but I did know that it would be worth it.
Lately, every single day is a struggle with my child. Partly because he thinks he knows it all and thinks that he can boss me around instead of listening to what I am telling him to do. (I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until he reached his teens?!) Its like he's an angel for all who watch him but the instant I pick him up he makes a complete turn for the worst. Its like he has a switch in his head that says "moms home" lets make her go crazy.
Now don't get me wrong, he has his angel days where there is not even one bad thing that he chooses to do, BUT lately we have more of the bad days than good.
You honestly don't know what crazy feels like until you have a midget following you around, challenging everything you are telling them (along with asking why to everything), hitting you constantly (because they think they are a power ranger), rolling around on the floor screaming (which is not sanitary at times), who spills EVERYTHING (which you then have to clean up, usually right after you just already cleaned up the house), then while you are cleaning the mess they are in their room destroying the organized toys that you just put together, AND who constantly tells you that you are mean (usually because you asked them to do the smallest thing like pick up those toys that they just threw ALL over).
If you truly want to make someone feel insane, the above is how you do it.
You feel completely alone and like you are failing miserably at this parenting thing. Even though there is no right or wrong way as long as you are doing what you feel is best. But it sure does feel like you are doing all the wrong things when you are in the situation.
You literally cannot wait for it to be bed time just so you can breath for a second, possibly cry out the stress, and then pray that tomorrow is a better day. This is where you feel the single part because you are alone in it with no one to even vent to about it all and to reassure you that you aren't failing miserably.
But at the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you did make it through another day. And even though you know tomorrow might be just another stressful day, you keep going because that little smile on that face, that loud giggle, the big hugs, the kisses, the mommy I love you's, and just the random funny stuff your toddler starts to say, makes every stressful day worth it.
There is no giving up because there is someone looking up to you.