Have you ever seen this meme? 👇🏼
This is me.. I mean obviously I know he needs to eat but I do just leave him in a corner, right?
Just kidding.. but kind of not.
I don't know how to function with a relationship and having a child. My last relationship was more of I'm the mom and you're the boyfriend so know your place. I guess that should have been the first red flag of THIS GUY IS NOT THE ONE since I didn't want him having a say with my son.
It's so weird to me on how guys/girls say that single parents just want you to automatically replace the missing parent and act like a mother/father. This is somewhat true but also very false. Do I want someone who is going to be a good role model for my son, treat his mother like a queen, show him what a real man should be like, and to be someone who loves him unconditionally.. yes. Do I want my son to be calling you daddy and get attached to you right off the bat.. no.
My thing with that is why would you even go after a single parent knowing they have a child that you might have to take care of one day and call your own if that is something that you would not want in the first place?!
I feel, as a parent, if you go into a relationship just thinking if this person will be good for you and you have no thought about your child then you honestly care more about yourself than your child and that's not right. Someone should be extremely welcoming to the fact that you have a kid and should put an effort into wanting to be involved with them.
Back to me not knowing how to function in a relationship. (I warned you that I'm all over the place. Haha) I've had no help, in a significant other type of way, since my son has been here and not even during my pregnancy. How do I mesh someone into our life now? How does that work?
Part of me likes being alone and handling everything alone because I can do it all.. but sometimes you wish you had that significant other to help you through everything and to be there on the hard days. Someone to just vent to. Someone to take over when you just need a second to breath because we all know parenting can push you to the edge sometimes. Someone who comes into your life and just understands that things are tough but they stay anyways.
Having friends and family there for you is always nice and very appreciated but there is a difference with having a significant other there for you.
Since my sons father I have had one boyfriend in my life. That turned out to be a mistake but it was a lesson. My thing is how do you know you aren't about to make that same mistake. How do you know if you are going to start something and in the next second that person walks away.. It is more than just you that you have to think about.. and to avoid making this hard decision I always just end up pushing men out of my life because I'd rather not even take the chance of it going bad.
Someone recently wrote me this:
"Your afraid to open up for two reasons, one because your careful on who you bring into Aydens life, but two because you've been vexed by the guys youve been with. Your experience with guys has made you aware that a lot of men are scumbags. You weigh the plusses and the minuses of putting you and Aydens heart out there by putting it in someone elses hands. Even though you want to be happy with someone, youve decided that the risk is greater than the reward and its safer to stay away from it.. A man by the name of Joseph A. Shedd once said "A ship is safe when it is in harbor, but that is not what it was built for."
Basically, I am not sure that this ship is ready to leave the harbor because the risk always seems greater.